It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.”

Ann Landers

Chores – We grew up despising that word. And now our kids do? However, as Pediatric Occupational Therapists (OTs) who support children with their functional and meaningful daily tasks, we know the benefits of chores are numerous. From sensory input to sequencing – developmentally appropriate chores have it all.

This blog post will list out chores that are appropriate for each developmental age, their benefits, how to help children become more independent with chores and how to reframe the idea of chores to make them a more rewarding and positive experience for all children.

Benefits of Chores:

We wouldn’t be OT’s if we didn’t first talk about chores and how they relate to ‘Activities of Daily Living’ or ADLs. ADLs is a term commonly used by OTs which refers to the meaningful everyday tasks that a person engages in to have a successful life. These include bathing, getting dressed, feeding etc. Instrumental Activities of Daily Living or IADLs, on the other hand, are similar to ADLs, except that these tasks require more complex and higher level skills to complete. Although they may not be essential to basic survival such as eating and bathing, they are still important to have meaningful engagement in the world. Examples of IADLs are: home management, meal preparation, etc. Therefore, teaching children to become more independent with chores sets them up to have meaningful engagement in the real world.

Learning how to do age-appropriate chores not only helps to foster independence and accountability but also helps children work on many skills such as their fine, gross and visual motor skills, bilateral coordination, language development, sensory input, sustained attention, sequencing, organizational skills and more – all skills they will need to success in the school environment as well.

Now let’s break down the specific skills mentioned above and how they can be acquired by engaging in chores (you may also find the italicized words in our glossary section):

• Sensory Input  – Doing chores can provide a lot of sensory input especially for children who seek movement, touch, visual stimulation and even auditory stimulation (ex listen to the sound of a spray bottle squirting water or the rag wiping left to right). One sensory input, in particular, that is enjoyable to children who either seek and/or avoid sensory stimulation is called proprioception – and a type of proprioceptive input that can be achieved through chores is categorized as ‘heavy work activities’. Heavy work provides a calming and organizing effect on a child’s body when they receive deep pressure in their joints by carrying, lifting, pulling and/or pushing items. This can be achieved by carrying a laundry basket filled with clothes, vacuuming, and even putting groceries away.
• Gross motor skills: Lifting, transferring and coordinating the body to complete chores works on strengthening a lot of the larger muscles of the body.
• Bilateral Coordination – Using both hands to lift, manipulate and transfer items allows both sides of the body to work in a coordinated and organized manner.
• Fine motor skills: Many chores work on strengthening the finer muscles of the hands which is especially important for handwriting. Examples include pressing down on a spray bottle, wiping spills, hanging laundry with clothespin, etc.
• Visual motor skills: Seeing where the “mess” is and coordinating body movements to clean up the mess allows the eyes and body to work together, a skill that is essential for tasks like cutting.
• Tactile input/ tactile desensitization: Many household cleaning materials such as rags, mops, dusters come with various textures. Encourage your child to explore and become more normalized with touching different textures to prevent tactile sensitivities.
• Attention and Sequencing: By completing chores, children have to visually attend to the task until it’s complete and follow a sequence of steps. This helps work on increasing their attention span and sequencing skills.
• Language: Encourage your child to learn the names of various cleaning items, practice identifying the properties of the objects, practice social skills of turn taking and following directions. 

Chores by Developmental Age

Before I talk about ways to help children become more independent with chores and have a positive outlook on these tasks – here is a list of chores that are appropriate for your child based on their developmental age:

Helping Children Become More Independent with Chores:

• It is important that chores are developmentally appropriate for your child’s age (see chart above) for safety purposes and also for the just-right-challenge (a task that is not too difficult but challenging enough to promote learning).
• Children can do chores long before they can talk about it. Since children learn by first seeing, modeling how to complete the chore is important when demonstrating how to safely use the equipment and coordinate the body movements.
• There are different types of supports or cues to provide your child (ie physical, verbal, visual, etc). When providing physical support, place your hand under or over the child’s hand to guide them through the action of completing the chore. When providing visual cues you can place a sticker on the part of the broom stick, for example, where your child’s hand should be placed and/or mark the spot on the floor where they should collect the scraps of paper on the floor with their broom. Verbal cues can be given as well (ex: “Use both hands to hold the broom, move in a side to side motion etc). Gradually diminish any and all cues provided as your child learns to become more independent with the given task.
• Remember to not teach them these skills when in a rush. Practice takes time.
• Understand that there may be a cultural component to completing chores.

Making Chores More Pleasurable:

Many children view chores as a undesirable and time wasting task. Here are ways to change that perspective:

• Consider describing and engaging in chores with the “growth mindset”. In other words, children should perceive difficult tasks as something beneficial and important to their wellbeing. For example, instead of thinking “ugh, I have to clean up my room” – think “I deserve to have a clean room so I can be safe and find everything I need.”
• Consider framing chores as a way in which you are doing your job to help the family versus a punishment when doing something wrong.
• As an adult and model figure for your child, always check to make sure your own views and statements on chores are seen in a positive light. For instance, while washing the dishes, if you appear upset or bothered, this portrays the idea of washing dishes as something dreadful. However, if you verbalize in front of your child how great it feels to have clean dishes for the family, they will view this task as something important to keep the household functioning.

Playing with Cleaning Toy Sets:

Cleaning toy sets are a great way for children to associate cleaning with joy. It is also a great opportunity for parents to work on many skills required to help your child become more independent with certain tasks. Check out our Toy Review tab for recommended ways to play with a dust set:

Some examples of ways to engage with dust sets are:

• Tell your child the names of each of the objects, what they do, and on what surfaces do you use each item.
• Demonstrate their use with the toys and show them with your adult version of each item.
• Go over the properties of each item- the bristles on the dust pan broom are scratchy, the fabric on the duster is soft. What colors do you see? The mop is blue and white, the broom has green bristles. The green broom is long or tall, the red dust pan broom is short or small.
• Compare the properties of their toys and your real life items. Daddy’s mop is tall and it is red and white. Versus their mop is short, and blue and white.
• When going over the names, properties, and use of each item, if your child does not have the verbal vocabulary to participate, encourage them to point.
• Encourage your child to use the objects during play. Do they have a play kitchen, a play house? While making a fake meal in their play kitchen, pretend that they made a mess and have them use the toys to clean it up. “Aww man, I dropped crumbs on the floor, can you grab the broom and help me sweep them up?” “Woops, we spilled some milk on the floor, can you grab the mop and help me clean it up?”
• When your child makes a non food related mess, see if they can use these toys to help you clean it up. Making a valentines day card at the table with tissue paper, or cutting paper? If scraps fall on the floor, encourage them to get their broom and dust pan to clean it up. 
• Encourage the child to put each one of the items back on the stand. This helps them to learn how to clean up their toys and stay organized.
• Encourage your child to teach their siblings, friends, or relatives how to use the items.

Find the complete list in our Toy Reviews tab. And of course, always reach out for comments, questions and/or suggestions for future blog posts and toy reviews. See you in our next post!

When it comes to our kids with autism, who are anxious at baseline, may be non-verbal and/or have sensory needs, it does not take much for them to reach high levels of anxiety. As a Child Life Specialist trained to support children in medical settings, I wanted to share tips on how best to support your child with Autism before, during and after their doctor’s visit.

Before the Visit

Social Stories
It is always important to talk to your child about their upcoming doctor’s visit, what to expect and why they will be going. Since most kids with Autism are visual learners, you can prep them using a story book or a social story. A social story is a short narrative that helps walk your child through a social scenario. If your child is non-verbal, try using images and language that is familiar to them and adapting the social story to their understanding. A social story can use the following phrases:

–  Mommy is taking me to see a doctor so he can help me with my tummy ache
– When we get there, mommy must sign my name, so the doctor knows I am here
–   I may have to wait with mommy in a special waiting area before it’s my turn to see the doctor. I can play iSpy with mommy while I wait.

The social story can be in first person, like the example above, or in third person using your child’s first name: Matthew is going to see a doctor. This helps them better relate to the scenario.

Incorporating actual images of the doctor’s office into the social story can be helpful so that your child knows what to expect when they get there. When showing images of the doctor’s office and/or reading a book about going to the doctor’s office, avoid pictures or illustrations of children with worrisome or fearful expressions as your child with Autism may pick up on those expressions. Kids with smiling faces are preferred to ensure that they will be okay.

Medical play

Playing ‘doctor’ using items that the child will most likely be seeing in the doctor’s office is a great way to familiarize your child before their visit, leading to a less stressful encounter with their doctor. Some things to incorporate during medical play can include a stethoscope (letting your child feel the coolness of the bell or diaphragm on their skin), a blood pressure cuff  (pretending to squeeze their arm), a thermometer to check their temperature, a scale to check weight, a tongue depressor to look inside their mouth and an otoscope to check inside their ears.

Having toys that resemble the actual tools are ideal in helping your child better make the association when encountering them in the doctor’s office. Playing with these items beforehand not onlyhelps them to be familiar with the tools and their purpose but also helps them associate these items with joy and comfort.

Medical play also gives you an insight as to how your child may be feeling about the visit. When your daughter tells her toy doll that the ‘thermometer won’t hurt’, that reflects her own understanding of the instrument. On the flip side, if she’s stabbing a needle in her doll’s arm, that too can reflect how she thinks needles feel. At that point it is best to address her concern during the play session, letting her doll know ‘you will feel a pinch but it’s quick to go away!’.

Be honest
Be honest when communicating to your child about their doctor’s visit. Avoid lying to your child by saying ‘we are going to the ice cream store’ instead of saying doctor’s office to avoid a stressful car ride. This can result in mistrust between the parent and child and may lead to an even more difficult transition to the doctor’s office the next time. Rather, be honest and let them know why it is important to go. “We will go see a doctor so he can let mommy know how to better take care of the tummy ache that’s been bothering you”.

Validate their feelings
It is important to let your child know that she is allowed to feel the emotions she is feeling saying things like: ‘it is okay to feel nervous or scared’. Avoid phrases like: ‘don’t be afraid’ since that may prevent them from opening up to you about their emotions. Validating their emotions helps them to feel understood which will lead them to be more transparent when talking to you about their concerns. This also builds trust between the parent and child.

Explain their role
Let your child know exactly what their role would be at the doctor’s office. Avoid saying: ‘don’t cry’ since crying is a natural and healthy coping mechanism for all children. Rather, validate their emotions and give them explicit instructions on what to do: “it is okay to be scared, but it’s important that you hold still so the doctor can listen to your heart and understand how best to help you”.  

During the Visit

Bring comfort items
Make sure to bring your child’s favorite toys, any sensory item that can help calm them downor a familiar item that helps to destress them. If there was a social story or book that was used to prep them for their visit, you can bring that along and continue to read it to your child as he or she goes through each step of the visit.
 
Communication Device
It is very important that your child is able to let you know exactly how he or she is feeling before, during and after their doctor’s visit so you know how best to support them and which concerns to address. If your child requires a communication device, make sure to bring it to their visit and use it intermittently to assess their feelings.

Give choices
Children cope better when they have more control over a situation. Whenever possible, give your child choices during their doctor’s visit: let them decide which chair to sit on, which arm to let the nurse take their blood pressure on, or which snack they will earn when they are all done with their visit.

Use language that sounds less frightening to your child
Using honest yet appropriate language with your child is key in helping your child feel more comfortable at their doctor’s office. Language that sounds less frightening will help you child better cope with the experience. For example, if your child is about to have her blood pressure taken, you can tell her that the machine will give her arm a nice tight hug rather than saying the machine will squeeze her arm.

After the Visit

Reward
Give your child a reward for their bravery! Regardless of how the visit went, they got through it and a prize is well deserved. It is best to let them know beforehand that they will earn a reward at the end of the visit, even giving them choices as to what they would like. The prize should be novel and exciting to them to encourage motivation.

Debrief
Always talk with your child afterwards, asking them how they felt the visit went. For our kids with autism, using a visual emotion scale is helpful in assessing how they feel after the visit. It is important to know what they liked and did not like to better support them the next time. This is also a great time to address any concerns and answer any questions they may have. You can even have your child explain to someone else (perhaps a sibling or friend) as to how their doctor’s visit went, to better understand their perspective of the experience.  

More Medical Play
You can always follow up with more medical play when you get home. If your child is non-verbal or is not as expressive with their words when telling you how they felt, they will be sure to express their emotions though play, the natural language of all children. Through medical play, you can have the childre-enact the visit, observing how they think the visit went. Your child may say things like ‘it’s okay to be scared, you just have to hold still’ which tells you they were able to internalize what was expected of them. If your child continues to show aggression, then they may still have fears that need to be addressed. That would be great opportunity to address concerns that may still be bothering your child for a smoother visit the next time.

For children with Autism who may have difficulty coping in events that are out of routine, who may be non-verbal or who may have sensory needs, it can become even more difficult to help them feel calm around needles.

As a Child Life Specialist who is trained in providing appropriate procedural preparation and procedural support for children in medical settings, I wanted to share insight on best ways to prepare your child with Autism for their shots before, during and after the injection.

Although this blog post is specific to strategies for children with Autism, these techniques can be applied to all children. 

Affiliated links were used in this post. See full disclosure here.

Before the doctor’s visit

Prep: Providing developmentally appropriate prep before the doctor’s visit allows your child to know what to expect during their visit which can decrease anxiety and difficulty with transitions. Since our children with Autism are visual learners, try using the following visual supports:

A social story is a short narrative that helps walk your child through a social scenario that should use language and images that are appropriate and specific to your child. It is ideal if the images reflect how the actual doctor’s office looks, but anything that comes close should suffice. An example of a social story could be:

•  I am going to see the doctor so he can help me take care of my body better.
• When I get there, mommy will sign my name so the doctor knows I am here
• I will wait in the waiting area with mommy until the doctor is ready to see me. I can play a game with mommy while I wait or watch a video on my iPad.

It is also important to know when the right time is to talk to your child about their visit. If showing them the social story days before the appointment will help relieve their stress then it is best to start early. However, if talking to them too early causes more anxiety then you can read them the social story while in the waiting room or even right before the shot.

Visual Schedule: A visual schedule is helpful in illustrating what is going to happen throughout the day or during your child’s doctor visit. Be sure to use images that your child understands and is familiar with. The following is an example of a hypothetical visual schedule for getting a shot. 

Schedule a Pre-visit: For children who may lack the receptive communication skills to benefit from a procedural prep, try scheduling a pre-visit to get your child familiar with the environment, sounds and sights before the actual day of the visit.

Appointment time: To decrease wait time in an already stressful situation, try to schedule the appointment first thing in the morning, first thing after lunch or ask when the office is the lease busiest to ensure your child may not have to wait in anxiety for too long. Inform the medical staff that your child has Autism and may benefit from less time in the waiting room, which can be an overstimulating environment. You  may also request for staff who are familiar with working with children with Autism. 

Medical Play: Engaging in medical play aka ‘playing doctor‘ is a great way to help your child familiarize themselves with medical supplies that will be used during their visit. Using items that the child will most likely be seeing in the doctor’s office is a great way to familiarize your child with the medical tools, leading to a less stressful encounter. 

Some things to incorporate during medical play are alcohol pads (allowing your child to feel the coolness on their skin), a tourniquet (wrap it snugly around their arm), a toy needle, and band-aids. Having toys that resemble the actual items is ideal in helping your child with Autism better make the association when encountering the same tools in the doctor’s office. Be sure to explain the role of each tool during the play session as well: 

Tourniqet – helps the doctor and nurses see your veins better

Alcohol pad – keeps germs away

IV – straw that can give your arm a drink and/or medication.

Straight stick – a poke for your arm to help the doctors know how to better help your body. 

Playing with these items beforehand not only helps them to be familiar with the tools and their purpose but also helps them associate these items with joy and comfort.

Medical play also gives you insight as to how your child may be feeling about the visit. When your daughter tells her toy doll that the ‘the needle will only hurt a little’, that reflects her own understanding of  the injection. On the flip side, if she’s stabbing a needle in her doll’s arm that can reflect how she thinks a needle may feel. This gives parents an opportunity to address these feelings saying things like: “you will feel a pinch in your arm, but it will be quick to go away”.

Engage the senses: Children with Autism feel overstimulated quite easily by their environment, especially when they are not prepared for it. Let your child know what to expect at their doctor’s visit using all their senses (sight, smell, touch, sound and taste).

• The alcohol pad is a wet cloth to help clean your skin, it might feel a little cold. For non-verbal children, demonstrate through medical play by using cool wet pads.
• A saline flush, for example, which is a syringe of water that runs through the IV tubing to make sure it’s working may have a smell or taste when the water goes in the IV.  Some kids say the saline flush might smell or taste salty like ocean water. The flush may also make the body feel a little cold which is normal. Since our body is so warm, any liquid entering our body will make us feel a little cool.

Discuss strategies beforehand: Most kids prefer to look away during needles and surprisingly some kids do better when they look. Similarly, some kids prefer the nurses to count down before inserting the needle while others do not. It is good to have an idea of your child’s preferences. If your child prefers to look away, it may help to have distraction items at hand to help keep them looking away. And of course, always have them pick the distraction items beforehand  (when the doctor gives you the pinch, would you like to watch blue clues on the iPad or watch me play with a bubble wand). It can also help to give your child an item to squeeze in their hands during the time of the injection. You can ask your child beforehand if they would prefer to squeeze your hand or a stress ball.

During the Visit

Important items to bring: It is very important that your child is able to express his or her feelings before, during and after getting their shot so be sure to bring their communication device if they have one. It is also important to bring in any comfort items or sensory toys that helps your child feel calmer and more comfortable. Sensory items like a mouthing toy, a weighted lap pad, glow in the dark sticks, are all great options to help your child feel more relaxed. Familiar items like a special blanket or a teddy bear are also helpful to have.

Use Honest yet Appropriate language: Saying the needle won’t hurt is not fair and may lead to mistrust between the parent and child. Rather, you can say “you will feel a strong pinch but it’s quick to go away”. Use language that is honest without having a negative connotation. For example, instead of saying the blue tourniquet will squeeze your arm, you can say the blue tourniquet will give your arm a nice tight hug.

Talk about the after: It’s important to talk to your child about what your plans are after getting the shot. For some kids it’s so hard to think of the ‘after’ since their stress levels are so high. They may not be able to imagine the event being over but by making plans and talking about going through the Dunkin drive through for some munchkins reminds them that this stressful event will come to an end. 

First-Then visual board: For our non-verbal children, it may be helpful to use a visual chart such as a First-Then chart. This is great when letting your child know that after they do the first action (ie get their shot) then they’ll get to have a preferred item or activity (ie. ice cream). Insert any activity or prize that your child will be motivated to work for as the “Then” part of the chart.

An example of a First-Then visual chart: 

Comfort positions: Talk to the nurse beforehand about possible comfort positions for your little one so they can feel more comfortable being secured by you as opposed to potentially being held by other medical staff. The comfort of your embrace can be calming for your child and serve as a natural pain management.

Explicit instructions: It is natural for your child to be nervous and cry before and during their shot. Crying is a natural coping mechanism for children. Validate your child’s emotions, letting them know it is okay to cry and to feel nervous/scared. However, give your child explicit instructions on what they should be doing: “It’s okay to be scared, but it’s important that you hold still while we get our special straw or IV”. Be sure to acknowledge your child’s brave efforts when they are trying to do so: “I know you feel nervous, but you are doing an amazing job holding still while the doctor looks at your arm!”.

Give choices throughout: Children cope well with choices during times of stress. Giving them control over an unwanted situation can reduce difficult behaviors. Some choices you can offer are where to sit, choice of band-aid, activity to do after the injection, etc.

Put it in context: For some children, it may help to tell them that the smaller pain (or ouchie) from the needle will outweigh the more seriousness (or bigger ouchie) of getting sick. Putting this in context and helping your child make the association to activities they won’t miss out on can help: “The Doctor will give a flu shot to help you not get sick during the winter so you can spend more time at home playing apple to apples with your brothers”.

Masking the pain: For children who are having a difficult time coping with the pain of the injection, there are different tools available to help mask the pain such as Buzzy the Bee or a Freeze/Coolant spray.

• Buzzy the bee is a small vibrating device in the shape of a bee that tricks your body’s nervous system into feeling the vibration as opposed to the pain from the needle. Buzzy the bee also comes with a cold pack which provides additional distraction to your body’s nervous system, further masking the pain from the injection site. For more information on Buzzy the bee, you can check out the website: https://www.buzzy4shots.com.au/pages/how-does-buzzy-work
• A freeze spray or coolant spray is also used to counteract the feeling of pain during an injection. Spraying a freeze spray before the shot can temporarily cool the injection site to almost feel numb. This may feel different or uncomfortable for your child so always test a small area before deciding to use this method during the time of the injection. 

Deep breathing: Deep breathing is a great way to help your child feel calmer and more relaxed during stressful events. If your child is having a hard time taking deep breaths or may not have the receptive communication skills to understand what is being asked of them, you can have them take deep breaths by blowing bubbles, blowing at a pinwheel, playing dragon or pretending to blow out some birthday candles.

Guided Imagery: Guided imagery is another great non-pharmacological method for pain management. Help your child imagine their favorite activity, place or memory during the time of their injection to help ease their stress and divert their attention to more positive and pleasurable thoughts.

After the Shots

Rewarding their bravery: Be sure to reward your child for their bravery! Let your child pick out a prize beforehand to encourage motivation. As mentioned earlier, use a First-Then chart to better make the association that after their shot, they will earn their prize. 

Debrief: Always talk to your child about how the visit went, what they liked/what they didn’t, so you know how to better help them especially for future visits. Sometimes, their concerns could be mitigated right away (ex. if your child thinks they will get multiple pokes, you can let them know that an IV is usually a one time poke).

You can also have your child communicate their feelings using a visual emotion or pain scale. 

It is okay if your child cried a lot during the time of the shot. As mentioned earlier, crying is a healthy coping mechanism. What you do want to look out for is whether or not your child was able to return to baseline shortly after. As long as child returns to their baseline level of playfulness, you can feel reassured that they may not be as traumatized by the experience.

More Medical Play: To better understand how your child felt during their visit, you can assess their reaction during medical play (a child who says ‘don’t worry this will be a quick pinch’ when giving her doll a shot shows that this may be how she felt when she got her own injection. On the flip side, a child stabbing her doll while giving her a shot may be indicating how she thought the needle felt like. In that case, you can address those concerns in a safe space and talk about how to help ‘the doll’ feel less pain (would it help if I hold the dolly’s hand, give her buzzy, etc). 

Hope this post was helpful! If you have any questions, be sure to write it in the comment box or email me directly at madeha.ayub@seedsforspecialneeds.com

See you in my next post!

There are so many things that can distract your child in the classroom setting, whether it’s the assortment of fall leaves on the wall painted with a variation of greens, yellows and reds or the sound of Mrs. Larson’s voice down the hall telling a student to stop calling out.

As an Occupational Therapist working in a school setting, one of my roles is to modify the classroom set up to create a more calming and conducive environment for our children to learn in. When it comes to children with ADHD specifically, who are so easily distracted, classroom modifications may include taking down excess artwork from the walls, dimming lights, or placing their desks away from high traffic areas such as the classroom door.

Now that the gears have shifted and more students are learning from home, I can’t always expect parents to modify or alter their homes completely. The great news is you don’t have to. Here are 14 simple and easy strategies to help your child with ADHD focus during remote learning. 

1. Limit Distractions

As soon as my young bright-eyed students join the zoom call for their telehealth sessions, I notice the area around their workspace. Often, I would see toys on the floor, the tv on in the background, the dog intermittently coming to lick their foot or even younger siblings crying in the background. The first step, which may be an obvious one, is to remove or limit distractions from the room. If other siblings are present in the room, have them engage in a quiet activity or set up desk dividers if they are sharing the workspace. The area should also be away from high traffic areas of the house where people are constantly coming in and out of. Placing your child by a bare wall, away from windows and decorated spaces is also encouraged.

2. Declutter the workspace  

Creating a clutter-free workspace is key in helping your child stay focused and organized for their remote lessons. If your child is drawing a picture to show what they did over the weekend, try to have out what is absolutely necessary for the activity and clear everything else off the table. If they are coloring an image, have them use one type of coloring utensil (either crayons, markers, or colored pencils and not all three). Also, try to stick to the primary colors since having too many options for colors may make it distracting for our kids to finish their work on time. It is also helpful to have out the required materials prior to your child starting the activity so they don’t spend time deciding which items to use when it is time to work.

3.  Consistent location

Try to allocate a specific area of the house as your child’s ‘workspace’. Kids would sometimes log onto their remote lesson from their living room while plopped up on the couch and then decide to sit on the kitchen table the next time while eating a snack. A consistent location helps your child associate his workspace with, well, work. Changing the location constantly gives our kids more distractions to ward off as new places come along with new distractions. It also makes it more difficult for your child to stay organized when they now have to scurry to locate and transfer their supplies to a different area of the house.

4. Visual Schedule

A visual schedule with the upcoming lessons or activities for the day is a great way for your child to know exactly what to expect without feeling too overwhelmed by their work. Keep the schedule in clear sight, preferably on their desk, so they can easily look at it when losing focus. Making the schedule ‘visual’ with images (ie. a book for reading class, an addition sign for math) helps our kids to quickly understand the schedule especially if they have not yet learned to read. Furthermore, have your child check off each activity or lesson that has been completed to help them monitor their progress.

5. Use Sensory Strategies

Incorporating sensory strategies is a great way to help our kids feel more ready to learn. Similar to how we bite our pencil while thinking of the answer to that math problem or even pace back and forth in a room when memorizing our times table, our kids sometimes need movement (vestibular input) and/or deep pressure (proprioceptive input) to help them focus. Sensory strategies that help with both deep pressure and movement can include a seat cushion to sit on, a wobble stool, engaging in animal walks or even carrying heavy items in the house. (Refer to my blog for more sensory strategies for remote learning.)

6. Lay on the Stomach

Who says you can only work sitting up at a desk? Whenever possible, (and I do this quite often), have your child work while laying on their stomachs (prone position). Visually, this allows them to focus just on the area directly in front of them as opposed to sitting up at the desk and being able to easily see everything in the room, having more distractions in plain sight. Laying on their stomachs also serves as a great sensory strategy as we discussed before, which helps your child receive deep pressure throughout her body while completing her work.

7. Break up the activity

Breaking up the lesson into smaller blocks or periods allows our children to sustain attention for shorter periods of time. It makes the task of completing their work without getting distracted more attainable, which can help your child feel good about the work they are getting done. Giving your child a little sensory break between lessons can prevent them from feeling overwhelmed and help them feel more ready for the next block of the lesson. You can further break up a task or activity into smaller parts by having them complete one portion of it before moving on to the next. For example, if your child has 20 math problems to complete, cover the page to show the first five and then proceed to the next five when they are done.

8. Noise reducing headphones

This is probably one of the most commonly used strategies when working with kids with ADHD. The headphones that I use in the school setting help to reduce sounds while allowing the child to still hear the main voice in the room. This is great in helping our kids block out any distracting or irrelevant noise in the room while still being able to hear the voice of the teacher, therapist or parent to ensure they can still hear the instructions of the activity or receive verbal reminders when needing to be redirected to their work. If your child is tuning in to their virtual lesson, be sure to get headphones with an audio connection to a tablet or laptop.

9. Give choices 

Giving choices is one of the best ways to improve behaviors and engagement with our kids with ADHD. Choices can be given for the type of activity you want your child to engage in: “would you like to start with reading homework or math’ or the initiation of an activity “should we start the math lesson in two minutes or three?”. You can even give them a choice of the type of reward they will earn once they completed their work “are we working for the ninja turtle floor puzzle or some pretzels?”. Our kids did not ask for remote learning so giving them more control over the situation will not only improve behaviors but keep them engaged even longer if they know this is something they chose to do.  

10. Set a timer

Timers are a great visual reminder to help your child initiate their lesson, transition between activities, or even end an activity without putting up a fight. It is easy for our kids with ADHD to lose track of time and not realize how much time may be lost when they become distracted by other things. Have your child help set the timer to promote compliancy and even provide choices before deciding how many minutes to set the timer on. An example of what to say before setting a timer can be: ‘We have to start our math lesson soon, let’s set a timer so you know when to start cleaning up your toys. Should we set the timer for two minutes or three minutes?’. A timer that visually displays time decreasing either by an hourglass or a pie chart may be preferred over decreasing numbers to make it easier for our kids to see how much time they have left.

11. Take a deep breath

With their mind and bodies moving so quick, help your child take a deep breath before or in between their lessons to help calm them down, relax their muscles, free their mind and be more ready to learn. If your child is having a hard time stopping to take a deep breath or may not have the receptive skills to comprehend what is being asked of them, you can easily facilitate deep breathing by having them blow bubbles, move small objects while blowing through a straw, blow on a pinwheel, blow up a balloon, or even play dragon (“Let me see your fire breath!”).

12. Strength-based work

It is easy to focus on what your child shouldn’t be or isn’t doing but focus on your child’s many strengths and use it to help them reach their goals of sustained attention. If your child enjoys painting, incorporate that into their math lesson. Similarly, if you child enjoys toy cars and racetracks, use it to help them understand shape and angles. Using their strengths not only serves as a motivating factor in completing their work but also helps your child feel more empowered when they know they are skilled at certain tasks.

13. Schedule a time to talk

It is really easy for our kids with ADHD to get sidetracked and go off on tangents when they remember the lady they met at the grocery store who wore a funny hat or the dog that did a cartwheel on their way to school. Cutting them off to redirect them to the task can frustrate them with the activity. Rather, let your child know that what they have to say is very important to you but right now is not the best time to talk about it: “I really want to hear what you have to say but right now we are working. Let’s talk about it when we are done with our work”. You may also give your child 5 minutes before the start of an activity to share anything they have a dire need to discuss, setting a timer to help them know when the five minutes are over. If they did not get to finish, you can reassure them that we will return to this conversation at the end of the activity.

14. Reward positive behavior 

Your child has a lot on their plate. Remote learning has been a challenge for all our kids so do try to reward positive behavior whenever possible, especially if your child had engaged in an activity longer than what they are used to. And always remind them what it is that you are rewarding them for to encourage consistency. Also, be sure to have realistic goals for your child. If your child has an attention span of 5 minutes before they are up and out of their seat, reward them for sustaining engagement for 6 minutes the next day. Any small gain is big step in becoming more functional.

Please share any tips in the comments section on what helps your child stay focused at home. I (as well as other parents) would love to see what works! See you in my next post!

Children with Autism prefer consistency and predictability in their routine and wearing a mask to the doctor’s office, to the Dollar Store, or even to grandma’s house may still be somewhat unusual to them.

Another main concern which affects many children with Autism is dealing with sensory issues or sensory sensitivities. In other words, they may not like the feeling of a mask on their face which can lead them to feel anxious or frustrated.

Lastly, our little ones with Autism may lack the receptive communication skills to understand why they need to be wearing a mask to begin in, which can frustrate them even more when having to keep their mask on .

To address all these concerns, I’ve come with a few helpful tips and tricks to help your child with Autism keep his/her mask on.

Affiliate links have been used in this post. I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you use any of my affiliate links. You may read the full disclosure policy.

Personalize it:

What is your child’s favorite color? Favorite cartoon? Or even favorite food? Personalize your child’s mask to her liking even if that means having her wear a bright orange mask with images of pizza slices on it.

If you cannot find a pre-made mask that your child will like, such as these popular face masks, you can help your child customize a regular cloth or surgical mask using cloth paint, posca paint markers, fabric markers, washer and dryer safe label stickers, fabric stickers or even fabric gems. Turn this into a fun joint activity and decorate your child’s mask with her. This will help your child associate her mask with play and enjoyment, potentially leading to more compliancy with wearing a mask.

Comfort

Masks are uncomfortable for all children but for our kids with sensory sensitivities, it may be even more challenging when certain textures can make their bodies feel anxious or disorganized, preventing them from feeling calm or even from focusing during school. Luckily, there are may different types of masks which makes finding a mask that your child finds comfortable a lot easier.  

Try going for a cloth mask that has a breathable fabric, such as cotton masks, so your child does not feel irritation or feel too hot from wearing a mask. If you are concerned for your child’s safety, you can always have him wear a proper surgical mask over his cloth mask or two cloth masks if need be, ensuring that the softer material is closer to his skin.

The irritation from the straps of the mask may also bother your child, especially in the area behind his ears. There are many ways to relieve the pressure from behind the ears to promote a more comfortable fit:

1. Cotton string tie masks – each string is made to tie behind the head and not the ears. You can also go for a mask with one loop string to tie around.
2. A fashionable headband that has buttons for the straps to swing around.
3. A behind-the-head hook strap
4. Neck Gaiter Tube face mask – if your child does not want to feel any strings on the face.

Social Story

Kids with Autism are visual learners – books and social stories are a great way to help your child learn the importance of wearing masks. Children are more likely to wear and keep their mask on if they understand why they are being asked to do so. Social stories, which are narratives usually in the first or third person, are helpful in explaining a social event such as wearing a mask in public, using language that is developmentally appropriate for your child.

Check out my free social story on ‘Wearing Masks’, to help your child understand the importance of wearing masks and ways to make it more comfortable to do so. I specifically explain how masks help protect one another from getting sick, how to properly wear a mask, the importance of proper hand hygiene while wearing masks and more.

For books that address the importance of wearing masks with easy to follow language, check out the links below:

1. A Little SPOT Wears A Mask
2. Baby Put Your Mask On
3. Lucy’s Mask

Watch Videos

There are many different videos to help children understand the importance of wearing masks. Similar to reading a social story, videos can help walk your child through a social scenario and explain the reasoning behind certain actions. Some of my go-to videos to help explain the importance of wearing a mask are linked below:https://www.youtube.com/embed/WhfQ71G24Pw?feature=oembedhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/lgaKLpSxQag?feature=oembed

Visual Board -First/Then

For our kids who are non-verbal, you can create a visual board with familiar images to explain what is expected of them when they need to wear a mask. For example before leaving the house, a visual board can look as follows:

You can also create a First –Then Chart, which will help your child see that wearing a mask can be a prerequisite to a fun activity or toy. The chart literally lets your child know that if he does the first action (ie. wear a mask) then the second event will occur (ie. he will get to go to the park or go for a car ride.) An example of a First-Then chart is shown below (with different choices to place in the ‘Then’ column):

Role Model

Kids learn by modeled behaviors. If they see important adults in their lives wear a mask, they will be more inclined to do so themselves. As a parent, practice safe precaution and hand hygiene for your kids to learn from. It may also be helpful to have your children see other kids, especially their close friends, properly wear a mask. A good peer support system is always beneficial in encouraging positive behaviors in children.

Play

Have your child put a mask on her favorite toys. Play is the universal language of all kids and imaginative play in particular helps your child play out hypothetical scenarios, allowing parents to see their child’s reaction to these hypothetical scenarios.

Imaginative play also allows parents to address underlying concerns their child may have in a safe space. For example when you ask your child why her doll whose ‘going to the mall’ is not wearing a mask, she may say “because she doesn’t like how it feels’. This may reflect your child’s own feelings towards wearing a mask. You can then address that concern in the play session: “Don’t worry, we can find a more comfortable mask for your doll, does that work?”.

Draw it out

When your child is drawing an image of herself swinging at the park or draws out her favorite superhero flying over skyscrapers, playfully remind her to draw in masks on all the figures in the picture. Whether the figures are superheroes, cartoon characters or members of the family, masks should be worn by everyone. This allows your child to see that there are not many exceptions to the rule and even the strongest of superheroes have to wear masks.

Safe Breaks:

If your child is struggling to keep a mask on for an extended period of time, plan ahead of time where your child can take safe breaks from wearing his mask. That may be in the car, outside of the supermarket if no one is around or when they’re at the nearby park.

Be sure to let your child know that he must first request a break before taking off his mask. For our non-verbal children who have a communication device, remind them to use the device to request a mask break or use any associated image to express their need for a break. You can use a timer to let them know how long their break will be.

You can also let your child wear a face shield, when he needs a break from wearing his mask and is not around others. A face shield will allow your child to be free of anything directly touching his face while still maintaining some degree of protection.

Praise and Reward

Using positive reinforcement, praise and reward your child for keeping his/her mask on. Let them pick out a prize beforehand, to ensure it is exciting enough to promote motivation. If your child has worn his mask for 5 minutes on day 1, reward him for keeping it on for 10 minutes the next time.

Be realistic with your goals for your children and have them slowly work on increasing the amount of time they wear their mask. You may also use the ‘First-Then Chart’, as discussed earlier, to let them know what they will earn for wearing and keeping their mask on.

Answer Questions

Let your child know that you are always available to answer any questions she may have regarding wearing masks. Your child may be wondering how long she’ll have to wear a mask for, why someone she saw at the park wasn’t wearing one or even why her doctor’s mask looks different from her mask. Make time to address all questions and concerns your child may have to ensure that she continues feeling comfortable with wearing masks.

Hope that was helpful. If you guys have any other helpful tips on helping your children wear and keep their mask on, please share in the comment section.

Hope everyone is staying safe. See you in my next post!